Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tip-Toeing over Tea Pots

As you can see it is 1am and I am blogging not sleeping.... My amazing idea of having coffee once I finished my shift at work (7pm) to stay up to do homework obviously wasn't the greatest seeing that I have to be up in 5 hours.... But tonight I am glad I have stayed awake...

It is possible that the Lifetime Movie I just watched is inspiring my emotions to come on full throttle. But as I walked through my house, that is less than perfect in its current state of disarray, I had a feeling of nostalgia wash over me, of emotion so strong it made my eyes tear up, yes, now that I type this I think it was indeed the Lifetime Movie.... As I made my way into my daughters room to peek in on her sleeping, I passed by her plastic kitchen, tip-toeing my way over the ceramic tea set that had yet to be picked up after our late evening tea party. My foot landed on my worn, but loved carpeting, and I stopped, yes right there in the hallway, and thought about my life.

My life has always been planned, by myself of course, each painful detail to the T, but as of late it has changed, which if you have been following the plans my husband and I have you would realize.... I guess it started a while back when "I don't want kids until I am thirty and have traveled the world" turned into, "I am ready!" and that very day Michael came home from work early, and well, you know the story. In my plan, the original plan before the idea of a family came into focus, when my foot touched the ground as I mentioned earlier I would be feeling a cool firm hardwood floor, in a loft Michael and I rented somewhere classy. I would be an assistant to some lawyer, slowly climbing the corporate ladder myself while I go to school. My days would be filled with making appointments, getting lattes', while wearing a form fitting button up and a pencil skirt. You see the detail? I did indeed have it planned out....

But instead of feeling a pair of Jimmy Choo's beneath my feet I felt the cool touch of ceramic, my daughters tea set, and realized this is exactly where I want to be, anyway who cares about Jimmy who? He will be out of style in the blink of an eye... But this, this family of mine, who are not "penciled" into my obsessively detailed life plan, but tattooed, because this is forever, and this is where I want to be, will forever be in style in my book.

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